The Big Things.

Friday, our youngest girl, Maximus had a doctor’s appointment. Her whole class knew that she would be leaving early. News travels fast in Pre-K. “Maxi, your dad’s here!” Is what I heard when I walked in the class that nobody was napping in during nap time. They love when something out of the ordinary is happening. After giving all of her friends daps and hugs and packing up what seemed like 100 pages of artwork in her backpack, we finally hit the door. The girl damn near ran out of the school. She was so excited to show how brave she was. She literally jumped in her booster seat so I could buckle her up and we were off.

Car rides with the kids are sacred to me. Every day, before and after school, we are singing are hearts out. Especially in December. Christmas music is mandatory for 25 days straight. The whole family knows this. This year, things have been a little different. We are definitely in the spirit, playing all of the classics, but GNX has also been a mandatory daily listen. On this ride, we started off with This Christmas and then a couple of J5 classics before she asked for her daily dose of TV Off.

When we were about 10 minutes away from the doctor’s office, Maxi asked me to pause Dodger Blue. “If i’m brave, can I get a treat today?” I tell her sure, if she doesn’t cry and carry on, we can go to a bakery. I love bribing kids. You do what you want with yours. I’m trying to work smarter and not harder. She was fired up when we arrived. She ran onto the elevator, pushed button 3 for our floor and skipped to the door.

20 minutes later, we were all done. Tears were definitely shed, but she let the nurse do what she needed to do. There wasn’t too much carrying on. Nothing like what her big sisters do. She is easily the toughest of the 3. After she wiped her own tears I asked her to show me her muscles and tell me what her name means. “The greatest!” she said with a big smile. I gave her a big hug and told her how proud I was of her. She smiled and asked if she could still get her treat. She already knew the answer.

We walked into the bakery and her eyes lit up. She saw cookies, cakes and pies, but we were there for the donuts. I picked her up so that she could see them through the glass on the top shelf. “I want that chocolate one with the sprinkles.” You got it. As I put her down, there was an older lady in front of us in line smiling. She looked like she was around 75 years old. She smiled and said, “my dad used to take me to get donuts too.” In my mind I thought, “I know those were white only donuts.” I smiled and said, that’s so special, I hope she remembers this forever. My dad used to get me donuts too.” We exchanged smiles that really felt like a hug. I instantly thought about how for a period in my childhood, my dad would get off work at the freight docks at 7AM. He was working for two trucking companies then. One shift was from 2-10PM, and then straight to overnight from 11-7AM. Every Saturday morning, he would stop at Lamar’s Donuts and bring home a box for me. He would be sleep by the time that I woke up and saw them, but that was his way of letting me know that he was thinking of me. I also thought about how I bought him donuts the last time that I saw him alive this time last year and how I threw that same Lamar’s bag away when I went home a couple of weeks later after he died. I got myself together and tried my best to remain present.

Maxi and I grabbed two seats by the window and enjoyed our donuts. She had me cracking up making up stories about what happened at school that day, and we sang the old Christmas songs that were playing through the bakery speakers. Looking into her eyes is always how I get a few moments of AWE. She really is a special girl. When I wasn’t looking at her, I couldn’t stop looking at the nice old lady as she sat and enjoyed her coffee. I wondered how that felt for her. Sitting there alone, probably missing her father. I know I was missing mine. While also being so happy that I’m getting my turn to buy the donuts.

I had been a little sick all week. Just a cold, but I didn’t have the energy to do much. Felt like I didn’t do anything but make meals for the girls and take them to and from school, then hang with them in the evenings. I was a little disappointed that my Friday was being cut short when I remembered that Maxi’s appointment was the day that I finally started to feel like myself again. I was thinking that I didn’t have time do anything that I wanted to do. But, hanging with my baby turned into the highlight of my week. I can’t think of anything that would’ve been better than that.